Yeppers that was it was. They had us mountain bikers racin’ on a Motocross track! There were a couple of triples out there, an’ double ‘er two thrown in fer good measure.
The place we went to his time was hell an’ gone in TJ. Way off ta the east it was, like we were drivin’ through a dump, a real honest to goodness dump. There were dogs of all sizes everywhere rootin’ in this ‘er that, hell it looked like one of them “B” rated movies aboot the end of the world. That’s when Darby remember’d a turn we missed. Well, I missed since I was nagavator.
It all started like this:
Mick an’ I packed the Donk to go down to Mission to rony’viou with Murf an’ Darby. Poor ol’ Donk was stuffed like a shoppin’ cart of the homeless guy on his way to the recyclin’ center, Carroll had me takin’ down a bunch of T-shirt an’ medals for the kids race. Seems Shimano has a soft spot fer the little tykes in Mexico so they donated some stuff. Two boxes full! Well we all decided to make a road trip outta it so we packed it all in Murf’s Suburban, everybody stuff found a place an’ there was still room to sit in the third row. Darby an’ Janice, Mick in the middle, then me an’ Murf in the front. The hecklin’ started an’ didn’t stop until we had to pay $2.50 apiece to get in. Seein’ as it’s a water park they wanted to make sure we paid fer the services even if we didn’t use em. After a quick sign up it was back to the ‘Burb an’ get ready fer a prerun.
Up the hill from the start finish line, no big surprise there, eh? They always do that to us. Up we went like goats on a foragin’ mission. On top, so to speak there was nice breeze to take the edge off the 95° weather. On we rode makin’ mental notes here an’ there, that’s when we found the triples. As I rode up to it memory’s of the Too Much Fun race I did a few years back, hell, I auger’d into the ground like a tent peg in ta soft ground. Hurt me bad that did. I made sure this race wasn’t gonna be a repeat. The next sections were hard but not technical difficult, then towards the end of the track the trail turned softer than a baby butt. They had jus cut a trail a coupla nights before on the side of the hill, 8 or 10 inches of super soft sandy loam. The kind where your wheel jus’ buries itself, I made it with no dabs. But I figured once the race started it would be a terrible place to stop, I wasn’t too far from the truth either.
Back at the Burb we waited ‘til it was really hot, like 12:00 noon. Hell? Why break a tradition an’ start a race when it’s cool? Never happened in Mexico folks. We walked over to watch Janice take off, then it was time fer us.
There was Doc George, me an’ Murf, Leonardo, Orlando, an’ the new guy. I still cain’t remember his name. Hell, the season is gonna be over ‘fore I can remember these guys names. Up in front of us were the hot rods, Masters 30. Darby’s crew, now folks, them boys are fast. They lap me sometimes ‘an I ain’t that gawddamned slow either. Any way we was a sittin’ there waitin’ an’ they did the count down but started us a five instead of zero. Go figure, cause I ain’t got a clue. The horn blew an off we raced. I held my own ‘til the first corner than settled down into a mileage-coverin’ crawl! It was steep folks, steeper than a collage-gradin’ curve, I ain’t yarnin’ you on this one. On the top we headed fer the triple, as I came up to it there was Darby! He auger’d in so hard he flatted! I felt fer the ol’ boy but I couldn’t stop, seein’ that I was racin’ an’ all. Well kinda racin’. Okay I was racin’ in my own mind cause of them boys in my class ran off an’ left to my lonesome. I got to the difficult places an’ cleaned them all I did, yeppers. Wasn’t fast, but I didn’t crash.
On the second lap I could see Orlando only a corner away, I couldn’t catch him but I was makin’ up lost time. Cool, there’s a chance he’ll pop from the heat. That’s what I’m hopin’ fer. Second lap iqs good fer me as all the jitters from the start is gone an’ I can concentrate on racin’. Well jus’ ‘fore the soft stuff I was tellin’ you aboot I found the new guy. His head was his head was hangin’ down an’ he was a quiverin’. Sayin’ some aboot caliente ‘er somethin’. Too hot fer him, that’s gives me a 5th place, hell maybe fourth if I can catch Orlando! Down we went to the finish line, an’ back up the hill. I had narrow’d down Orlando’s lead. I bet he was only 30 ‘er 40 seconds ahead of me now. There was a chance he succumb on one of the simple downhills. It very small chance I might add, as they weren’t hard ‘er anythin’. Well that’s how it finished too. I couldn’t close the gap an ended up gettin’ a 5th. Murf won. Duh? Big surprise there! NOT. Darby came from last place to finish 3rd. Mick got his very first 1st place finish. Kudo’s fer him! Janice got a fourth in women’s intermediate.
We waited around fer a while as the dancers began the show. Yeppers. A Company called BB3, I think that’s what they called themselves, brought a bunch of men dancers to show off their skills. Good show, the heat was horrid an’ these guys danced continuously. Different son’s different steps, twirlin’, jumpin’, arms a slashin’ in an out, the crowd was joinin’ in with ‘em too, hell’ava party. But, Darby had to get to work so we snagged all the trophies an’ blazed outta there.
It the line back to America the conversations were vivid aboot racin’, Sedona, travelin’ an’ the people around us. Goods entertainment fer the border line folks. There you have it folks, another adventure in Mexico.
Hoserr
HoserrSays 